Back In the Saddle Again

Wow. I'm finally feeling like a human being again, after literally being in bed for 96 hours. Earlier this week, in a fit of achy fever, Caleb turned to me and rasped "I'd always heard about this happening, but never thought it would happen to us..." referring to the complete dehabilitating pandemic the Hotwheel Hacienda has been under. We had never been in the situation of being physically incapable of caring for the boys before. All I can say is, thank God for grandparents.

I think one of the biggest things I've learned from being a parent is the importance of asking for help. You simply can't do everything for yourself ALL the time - life was never meant to be lived that way. I'm beginning to understand that doing things for other people and having other people do things for you is the way relationships are built. It can even be counterproductive to deny people of that warm and fuzzy feeling they get when they give - be it time, money, help, etc. Think about how it makes you feel to drop off a meal to a family with a new baby, or volunteer in the soup kitchen, or pet-sit for neighbors while they're on vacation. One-sided relationships never worked when I was a co-dependent girlfriend, and things certainly haven't changed now that I'm a mom.

My own pride prevents me asking for help nine times out of ten. Worry that someone might think me incapable of doing something myself, or consider me weak, or (gasp!) lazy. And I think deep down, I don't like to feel indebted to anyone, which is completely stupid because we all owe a piece of who we are to someone else - either our parents, or that boss who recommended a promotion, or the editor who took a chance. It's not debt, its karma, its the backside of grace, and pride will rob me of it every time if I'm not careful.

And thanks to Grandmother, Grandaddy, and Nana for saving us from Certain Death By Wild Boys. I'm glad we asked for help.