Monday, April 6, 2009

Tales of Birth Control

Story #1
It's 5:30 AM. Sleeping like any normal person would be, I am nagged awake by a strange, but familiar sound. I can't quite place it. And then I hear the muffled laughter. "They're OUTSIDE!" I yelp at Caleb, who bounds out of bed and retrieves both Finn and Eli, who thought it was a great idea to turn on the hose and water the tomato plants... in their pajamas at 5:30 in-the-freakin-AM.


Story #2
I'm switching out the clothes from the washer to the dryer. You've all done that, you know how long it takes. I move the clean dry clothes to a basket for folding, and I notice the silence. I head upstairs, confident things are fine and there's no way they had time to do something too bad. I can't find them anywhere. 

What I DO find is my MAC powder blush dumped into my expensive night cream, the red powder making the bathroom look like a crime scene. My makeup brushes are covered with the blush/cream concoction and floating in the toilet. 

Finn and Eli? Hiding behind my rocking chair in the bedroom, Eli sans clothes and adorned with very red, very moisturized streaks all over his body. Finn had used him for his own personal canvass, using the makeup brushes to create his masterpiece. 

Needless to say, the fun picnic we were planning at the Big Bug Gardens didn't happen that day. 


Story #3
Again, it's early morning, but more like 6:00 AM this time. Caleb is up and getting ready for work and I'm trying to cram in a few more minutes of snooze time before the boys wake up. Little did I know they were ALREADY up. I'm not sure, but this is how I think it went down:

Finn: "Eli, you should let Maybel out of her cage." (ie crate)

Eli: "OKAY!" He does. 

Finn: "Eli, you should let Maybel out to go peepee."

Eli: "OKAY!" He does. 

Finn: "Eli, we should take off all our clothes and swing on the swingset."

Ei: "OKAY!" They do. And this is how I found them. 


Three stories, all true... and ALL in one week. 

Parenting Pictures, Images and Photos

8 comments:

Native American Momma said...

oh my goodness do your children ever sleep? That is too funny naked on the swing set.

Patrice said...

LOL Story #3 was my favorite, but they all cracked me up! That is hilarious!! Although not much fun for you I'm sure!

Name: The Bryant Family said...

That Finn - too smart for his own good. I'm sure there are so many more stories to come out of that duo of brothers!

Artist Unplugged said...

Seriously, when you look up 'boy' in the dictionary, both their photos should be beside it! Thanks for dropping by....

AmySandy said...

Them's my boys! ;) Of course, I only laugh because this is happening at YOUR house. Funny that you call them Tales of Birth Control, because that's EXACTLY the effect they have. The other day, the boys were in line with me and were "acting a fool" and I heard myself say loudly, "Boys, these nice people are doubling up their birth control because of you. STOP it!" Ah, a mother's love.

david mcmahon said...

G'day from Australia. I'm a dad of three and I had a BIG smile on my face when I read this post!

Carol said...

Hilarious!! Maybe I'll keep my fingers corssed for a girl tomorrow and not a 3rd boy.

ShredderFeeder said...

FOFLMFAO.

We have to explain to people who come into our house that the chains on the doors are *NOT* there to keep people out....

Told the wife this one...both of us laughing.

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