Friday, January 11, 2008

Breaking News - Juveniles Vandalize Home

(ALABAMA) Two juveniles fled the crime scene of a home they brutally vandalized this morning at approximately 7:30 AM central standard time. The perpetrators are presently at large and are armed with several non-washable markers and potentially very dangerous.

"I couldn't believe it," their mother told The HH Times, "I don't even remember letting those markers in the house." The suspects are both white males and have distinguishing red and brown markings on their face, palms, and bottoms of their feet.

One weapon has been recovered, a brown Crayola non-washable marker, but the whereabouts of the other weapon remains a mystery. "A complete sweep of the property will be conducted after naptime in hopes of recovering the writing utensil. We hope a tragedy of this magnitude never happens again," stated the police sargeant.

Any sighting of the suspects should be reported to 77-CRIME.

One suspect is 41 inches tall and approximately 30 lbs. He was last seen wearing a Spiderman suit and has cronic chocolate-milk breath.

The second suspect is 32 inches tall and approximately 31 lbs. He speaks with a slight lisp, carries a fully loaded pacifier and has a previous juvenile delinquent record.

Police suspect this is the same offender who demolishes the kitchen cabinet on a daily basis. "We've been after these punks for a long time."


Aardvark said...

OH NO!!!!!

Michele Burns said...

Whew...I am so glad I'm not the only one this has happened to :). We are still trying to get the ink pin markings off the wall...LOL!! This is such a cute story!! I love it!! Gotta love those little men!!

AmySandy said...

Not only is the fact that they created a masterpiece on the wall absolutely hysterical, but your write up cracked me up!!

Looking forward to the latest developments in the case...tonight at 10. ;)

BTW, we had a blast with you guys today. And someone warn Luke S--watch out, there's a new Galoshes King now.

Laura Beth said...

Hahaha the poor wall/crib/bedding never knew what hit it

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