Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My Infidelity

Dear Publix -

What we had... what we HAVE... is special. You had me at "Can I deliver that cake to your party?", and ever since then we have had a pure and monogamous relationship. But now things are different somehow... (dare I say it?) strained.

I know what the problem is. Every relationship has it at some point and time, some worse than others. Money issues. 

I shudder to play into the current paranoia, but in This Present Economy everyone's trying to find a few ways to trim the fat. Unfortunately, the HH's bacon is supplied by one in the non-profit sector - fundraising of all things! - and one in the finance sector. Not only that, but the finance gig happens to be one that is continuously mentioned on MSNBC, CNN, FOX, ABC, NBC, CBS, and PBS. Did I say continuously? I meant they seem to cover nothing else. 

So I slipped up. It wasn't my fault really. 

I was minding my own business: running errands, returning library books, pumping gas, etc. - when the seductive whispers began. 

Double coupons... the velvet voice said. 

"So?? I already have that!  You got nothing, Scissors," I replied. 

Double race car carts... IN FRONT!  the voice slyly retorts. 

"Um... I have that too. Except not in front," I lamely shoot back. 

Size matters - I have a LARGER organic selection... the whisper was like a caress. 

"Mmmm... So? I'm OK with an average size." My resolve was weakening.

And then Kroger went to work sowing more seeds of doubt, listing all of your weak points:
Publix doesn't have your favorite soup
(Campbell's low-sodium vegetable made with beef stock)
Remember the day when that pharmacist was mean to you?
And then the axe fell - the final sultry poison barb.
Come on, baby... they are so much more EXPENSIVE! 

I was devastated and ashamed, my dear Publix, because I knew that Kroger was right.  We had grown apart and let money divide us. You couldn't compete with the way I lusted after loading my coupons straight onto the KrogerPlus card online. No more clipping for me. And the satisfaction I felt at the check out line at Kroger left you feeling small and insignificant. 

At first I thought I could get away with just a few visits on the side, but I know now I'm hooked. 

So... do what you can to win me back, Publix. 
Until then, I think it's best that we just be friends. 


5 comments:

Sarah Lena said...

Publix and I have this run around every time. Our Krogers on this end of town don't have great produce, but DAMN, everything else is NOTICEABLY cheaper.

Jenny said...

Unfortunately, in the Grand Land of La Floride, we do not have Krogers. I grew up in TX going to Krogers, though...and Skaggs Alpha-Beta. (???) So, my infidelity has been with...(drum roll, please) Super Walmart. (gasp) I do not, though, purchase ANY produce there -- or at SuperTarget. They just don't compare, and I will not do Food Lion or Winn-Dixie. (A girl has to have limits, you know...)

Artist Unplugged said...

I need to do the same...they lure me with their clean store, short lines (usually) and the fact that I know where everything is. You could still have their cakes.......

McMommy said...

Ok, I am a total Publix girl through and through.

But what is this Kroger that you speak of??? Are there any coming to Florida??? I want to load coupons onto my card!!! I HATE CLIPPING COUPONS!!

(All they do is junk up my purse!!)

gryphon said...

You are so funny. See, I have been naturally cheap for years, so I have been slumming at Kroger's low prices and considering some of Publix items as a treat. I do see how it is easy to get addicted to Publix. some of their stuff is clearly better. Same thing go for my Sam's/Costco relationship. I hope they one day build a Costco in our area, I would be all over it. Stay Strong HH.

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